coffee Convos

Hear me out.

As we grow, we start to reflect on the days when we were growing up (in childhood), to be more specific.

Sometimes, reliving specific memories brings up strong feelings within us that make us question who we were then. This is entirely normal.

However, one thing that is not told to us is how to deal with those negative feelings we get.

Some suppress the feeling until it consumes them, and they have no choice but to release it. Others let it consume them while trying to move on with their lives.

In both situations, we are not dealing with those feelings. We’re simply coping until the need to shut down arises again.

I have personally experienced these types of emotions, and if we’re being honest, I still do. The difference between now and when I first started to feel them is how I deal with them.

Hate is a strong emotion. Hate towards others and especially hate towards ourselves.

I would get second-hand embarrassment from what I remembered doing in high school. I still do. For that, I would constantly criticize what I did now and how I would try to be perfect so I wouldn’t repeat what I did when I was younger.

It worked… until it didn’t.

I was miserable more often than not because I tried to gently parent myself without knowing how to be gentle. Here’s some harsh advice to swallow.

If you have to, hate yourself for a day. For those 24 hours a day, you can wallow in self-pity, stay in bed, or rot your brain. Hate yourself for an entire day. Then, when those 24 hours are up, and the sun comes up again the next day, we keep fighting.

This has worked for me on numerous accounts. Not only have I been able to overcome many suppressed emotions, but I have also been able to move on with my life and start to actually live rather than exist.

Trying to be perfect is normal. Other people’s lives seem perfect from your view. But that’s just because you can’t see how they are behind closed doors.

We all have our demons. The difference is in how we manage those feelings from those demons.

So, if you must, hate yourself for 24 hours. And when the sun rises the following day, live. Keep going because your younger self didn’t give up in life, so don’t give up on them.

If your bad days start to worsen, you may also seek professional help. There is no shame in extending a hand in the right direction.

Until next time,

Sweet T.