coffee Convos

If I remember correctly, I used to be obsessed with getting validation from my peers.

There’s no correct reason, really. It’s a part of life that I believe every generation goes through.

The validation period: The constant seeking of approval of those around us and not understanding why.

Although, if I were to offer a piece of advice to my younger self, I would insist they focus on themselves.

It’s interesting as we grow. Focusing on ourselves is difficult if we don’t understand why we must focus on ourselves.

I won’t lie. I was a hard-core people pleaser.

Everyone’s needs came above mine because if I could get their validation, maybe then I was doing something right in life.

But here’s the reality of it.

The more I put others’ needs above mine, the more I lost myself in accommodating others. Essentially, I was stuck in a never-ending identity crisis because others were dictating my life.

Don’t let others have more control over your life than you do. Doing so is a recipe for disaster.

Instead, take time and focus on yourself.

If that means you lose a few friends while you’re building yourself, then so be it. I can say those who were my best friends in high school are nowhere to be seen supporting me in my journey after I’ve offered all the support to help in theirs.

Focus on yourself. The greatest gift you can give yourself is time put into building your dreams.

We’ll talk soon,

Sweet T.