coffee Convos

In life, we go through many different challenges where we have to decide if we would like to go down one path, or the other. It’s a part of growing.

But there’s certain decision that can alter the path of your life forever. Whether it’s small or big, for the better of other or not, we make these decisions based upon a series of things.

The hardest decision I had to make, was giving up the life that could’ve been.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still working towards the life that could’ve been, just with a lot more obstacles I have to overcome to shape me into who I would like to become.

Who I know I’ll love.

Being young and facing the world with rose colored glasses, makes everything seem so black and white. It wasn’t until I was dealt two cards: work towards my future or take care of my family obligations first.

You could guess which card I chose.

As life went on, I gotten into a routine of some sort that put me in an autopilot state of mind for months on end.

There seemed to have been no end to the cycle.

I’m sure others can relate. Some days were better than others. But days soon turned into months and before I knew it, months had turned into years. Everything blended together like a smoothie.

Although, this one didn’t taste as good.

Without knowing it, my mood slowly started to decline. I had gotten more irritable, I refused to wake up early and be productive, I even refused to talk at that point. Suffer in silence, as the saying goes. I was burnt out.

Burnt out, unmotivated, and depressed. A recipe for disaster.

The only thing I could think about was the life that could’ve been, if I just stuck to my original plan and left. All the what ifs that could be happening right now. Instead I was back to square one.

It had gotten so bad, that I started to blame everything around me. My family, my job, myself. Anybody that could take the burden off my shoulders.

Blame was the name of the game. And at the time, I relished in it.

Why had I gave up my future for my family?

To this day, I still have my reasons for choosing to stay. I accepted the fact that, there was nobody to blame but myself. As an adult, we make choices.

My choice, had obligations. An obligation as an older sister. An obligation as a granddaughter. An obligation to myself.

My happiness is my main focus, and choosing to stay, was what made me happy at the time. I made a plan and stuck to it. I would make sure certain things happened before I started to create my life.

I had a goal.

Goal accomplished.

Now, I’m in the process of a new plan. One that entails I get my happiness.

So, was it the hardest decision I had to make? Yes. Do I regret it? No.

In life, there are choices we make that can alter our lives. Whether they’re big choices or small ones. We are in control of what happens.

Whether it was the hardest decision or the easiest decisions in life, we’re in control. It’s okay to feel regret sometimes. It’s natural, we’re only human. Some days will be better than others.

Just remember why you decided to make that decision.

So, let me ask you… What’s the hardest decision you had to make? Do you regret it?

Until next time,

Sweet T.