coffee Convos

I believe everybody in their 20s can agree on one thing.

We are over it.

The white picket fence dream is just not obtainable anymore.

Dating Overrated:

Instead of ‘old school’ dating, majority of the population just want to seek out temporary happiness. When did sleeping with somebody constantly turn into a relationship status?

Personally, I don’t want to waste my time with those who just want to take advantage of what I have to offer. Some people can’t even bring their share to the table.

It’s normal, now, to have a baby before you get married, just to see if your partner is the right person. Though even if you have your baby with the same person, doesn’t mean you’ll get a ring on your finger.

Men seem to cheat more than they do stay loyal. With technology advancing and more dating apps emerging, it’s easier to scratch your itch, than staying committed and settling down.

Women don’t want more, men want temporary.

So where does that leave us?

Personally, dating in your hometown has it’s ups and downs. Yes, they’re going to be somebody you knew. But, have they changed for the better or worse?

Everybody’s afraid of getting hurt, because we tend to put all our eggs into one basket. I learned how to give my eggs as I go. Don’t settle for the bare minimum, you deserve better.

College & Job Scarcity:

Job security seems to be based on connections. Interpersonal relationships.

If you’re not connected, you’re not going anywhere.

“How does that impact our understanding of being in your 20s?”

Majority of parents, grandparents, aunty’s or uncles, expect any child to start their undergraduate degree right after college. If not right after college, then at some point in their life.

They’re made to belive that going to college and getting a good degree, will get them a high paying job, right? Wrong.

Most college graduates struggle to find jobs or paying internships post-graduate. Companies will put out ‘we’re hiring’ ads everywhere, but when you apply, they don’t seem to be hiring anybody.

With a ton of debt, stress and no money to fix any of our financial needs, we’re stuck in a constant cycle.

Stress, anxiety, depression.

There are no jobs available to college graduates. No jobs, no money to move out of our parents houses. No money to clear our debts.

We just have a piece of paper that says we completed our studies. We went the route everybody went.

This is usually when the shame comes.

“You shouldn’t be living with your parents, you’re 20 something years old! Get a job!”

You don’t think we’re not doing that? Actively putting out our resume’s to multiple companies? Even companies we have no degree in?

“So what are you going to do in life? Just live off your parents?”

No, Sally, we’re not going to live off our parents. Have you tried getting a job in this economy?

“When I was your age, I had a job, a house and my own money to spend.”

Yeah, that was before the market went downhill. Thank you.

The traditional route to making a life, is no longer obtainable without having to pick up three to four jobs. And we have figured that out.

When we do apply for jobs, and get the position, we’re criticized for not want to do the job properly. But let’s be real for a second.

We do the job properly. We know what we’re suppose to do, we know what we don’t have to do, and we know the amount of pay does not match the amount of work we’re expected to take on.

So, how are we criticized for doing what our job description entails? Would you like the workload and then some while being paid a little over minimum wage?

“Well, if you don’t work, what are you going to do? Marry rich?”

Marry! How did talking about getting a job, turn into me needing to marry somebody for their money?

We understand the concept of getting a job. What we don’t understand, is why they’re hiring if they know they’re only going to hire within the company.

I understand your pain. Getting a steady job today is more challenging than before. That’s why most of us have started to earn income in a different way.

Online.

Do we get judged for it? Yes. Although, if you’re consistent and ride out the low, the highs are going to be worth it.

Please Understand Us:

Being in your 20s today is a rollercoaster. We can’t afford to go out with our friends, getting a job is almost impossible if you don’t network, the world uses violence as a way to solve problems and trying to find somebody to settle down with in life, comes with too much to risk.

Being jobless and trying to live your life is normal.

Not knowing what you’re going to do next, is normal.

Around the world, there are wars that are actively happening that the older generation are shying away from. They choose violence to solve problems, they vote their person of power into office and yet when time comes, they can’t acknowledge the damage their decisions caused.

They shy away from graphic videos around the world.

Blatantly ignore the consequences of their actions because they couldn’t see the other side of a story.

There are lives that are being condemned because the media paints a narrative on what is happening. But you know who’s not shying away?

Us.

The next generation that’s willing to fight and make a difference. To try and get one step closer to world peace, because every life matters.

But, you may never understand to the full extent. Why we fight for things other generations don’t have a care in the world for. If you’re not in your 20s today. You have your life established. You made your connections, got your degree and settled down.

I mean, hey, if you did it, then anybody can do that right?

With that mentality, you’ll never understand that our reputation follows us home. Social media and job sites need us to be reputable to hire us. There is no in between. There’s no escaping.

We have to live in a rising economy that doesn’t support us.

But, no big deal right. You’re sending your support from afar.

If you got this far in my article, I hope you looked at it from a different pair of eyes. One that comes with no judgement. A place where you can see what your child is actively living through.

And please, please, check on your child. Their feelings are just as important. We tend to stay strong for our elders in life. Constantly putting our feelings on the back burner to make sure everybody else is okay.

Even with a simple “How are you today?” can make a difference in our lives.

I understand we are living in two completely different worlds, and that’s okay. We have no choice but to be okay. You’re doing amazing in life.

But we want to be heard too.

If you’re in your 20s, I hope you’re doing okay. I know some of the things spoken about today are things that are recognized but not normally talked about.

Societal norms and all.

Getting Help:

If you’re looking for help, please don’t hesitate to reach out to somebody. You’re not struggling alone, there are others out there going through the same thing.

We might not show it, but that doesn’t mean we don’t feel it.

If there’s any resources that you know, please comment!

National Alliance on Mental Illness NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 or text NAMI to 741-741 (For the United States)

Anxiety UK: 03444 775 774 (For the United Kingdom)

The South African Depression and Anxiety Group offers help and counselling for all mental health problems: 0800 567 567

Anxiety NZ: 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY) (For New Zeland)

In Touch Philippines free and anonymous 24/7 crisis line: +63 2 8893 7603, +63 917 800 1123, or +63 922 893 8944

Aware Depression & Bipolar Disorder Support: Freephone 1800 80 48 48 (For Ireland)

healthdirect 24-hour health advice: 1800 022 222 (For Australia)

Good2Talk support services for post-secondary students in Ontario: 1-866-925-5454 and Nova Scotia: 1-833-292-3698 (For Canada)

AASRA 24/7 helpline and directory: 91-9820466726 (For India)

Until Next Time,

Sweet T.